On gigantic bromeliads (and being 3 months behind in storytelling)

Man, this blogging thing is much harder than I ever anticipated.  Not that I'm giving up, mind you.  Nor that I expected to do it completely regularly and attentively, because that's just not a thing I do really.  But I did expect such merry excitement over every last little thing of our new (well, by now, really not-so-new) homeland that I would just gush ad nauseam.  Which I do, of course.  Just....not so much online.

Case in point: Big Pineapple. 

'Big Pineapple?!' I hear you cry 'What on earth do those words mean?'
They mean this thing:

At which point you should be thinking 'oh yeah, now the name makes sense.'


I have a thing for names that are weird but transparent.  Like, where they're weird, but then it turns out the name is not as ridiculous as it seems; rather, the thing is that level of ridiculous.  Sharknado.  Sharktopus.  Snakes on a Plane.  And, yes, Big Pineapple.

What kind of a place would such a thing exist in?  Well, see for yourself: the mighty metropolis that is Bathurst!  Famous for a yearly Oxbraai (which is the braaing of an ox, I assume), and some kind of show where they sell (and presumably demonstrate?) cattle, and I guess they have technically the oldest pub in South Africa.
All of these are major draws for Will. 

Inside of the Big Pineapple is, surprisingly, not pineapple.  It's all pineapple-themed things.  A few of which are mildly informative, many of which are campy, and some of which are downright creepy.  A selection of a few (link to the rest).
First up, KFC brand pineapple:

Also, one of the smallest (though perhaps least lifelike) nature reserve ever:

Not to mention a pair of these guys:

I tried to do one of those hokey pictures where it looks like you're eating something far off in the distance.  It didn't turn out so well, which is fine, because it probably tastes like fiberglass and rural boredom.  Much like actual pineapples....

Fun fact: many people think pineapples grow on trees.  They will be mystified by these youngsters, I guess.

The view from the top of the pineapple was actually kind of pretty, though:

And, joking aside, Bathurst is kind of a cool - if sleepy - little town.  I didn't go into the really old pub, but the one across the street was a good time of chatty people when we had dinner there.  I recommend the trip.  IF you're in the Eastern Cape.

Anyway, so why clutter the internet with further pictures of gigantic fruits with obviously bolted-on leaves?  Because I snapped these ones when we went there the first time, what feels like 8 months ago.  I'm sure it wasn't actually 8 months ago, probably closer to 8 weeks...but not closer by that much.

...Which gives you a sense of how far behind I am on updates.  I'm going to try to bang out one more this week, with pictures and perhaps stories from my (increasingly less) recent trip to Nigeria.  Which I can do, now that this terrible awesome pineapple is off the list.

~Will out